hotel room ftw
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
