She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
