Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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