I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's never too late to be topless.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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