we have officially lost it.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
