Someone shit on the floor
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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