So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
