you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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