Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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