Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize