Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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