in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
