So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
