You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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