Cold hands, warm shart.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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