There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Green mimosas i think yes
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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