fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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