U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
