Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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