i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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