then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
