I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
