took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
