yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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