Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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