Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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