so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
