You can't special order awesome
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
tell me about the eggs
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
