I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
