Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
