You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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