I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
