yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
