Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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