Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
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