i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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