well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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