When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
