we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
