So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
