so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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