It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
