Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
