who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
