So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
