I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
True strength comes from lack of pants
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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