is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize