i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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