Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
