i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
