I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Randomize
