That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
