DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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