i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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