Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
